The Op.

Tuesday the 10th November 2009, 08:00 a.m., I arrive at the hospital, I have butterflies doing a constant samba in my tummy, I'm scared, my brain is reeling with everything that has happened until now, and the onslaught of information that has been thrown at me, I have not had time to digest any of this yet..... It's a Tuesday, normally I would be at work preparing to induct the new employees into the building, I keep thinking have I done everything at work so no-one needs to worry about it...?

Also is the thought that I would be having a double mastectomy, the Left is the afflicted breast, but the right would be preventative, again my mind is it's own worst enemy right now. I'm taken into the pre-op ward, where they have day surgery patients, I'm taken into a 2 bed cubical, the other bed is occupied by an older european lady, who is groaning constantly, ( I'm really not sure I want to be here right now with all that noise). The curtains are drawn around the bed allocated to me, and I'm told to strip down, and put on the white gown, I think about the term gown, and if I hear this word I never conjur up images of this, it's more flowing and beautiful, more ummmm..... chic! Stripping down I don the "gown", feeling even more vunerable, as I wait for some-one to come into my curtained domain. A nurse comes in and opens the curtains and I'm now able to view the world from my bed. I'm in a transition bed, waiting for somebody to let me know what's going on. I'm opposite the nurses station, and I get sympathetic looks and smiles from the ladies behind the desk as they carry on with their duties for the day.

Finally after about 2.5hrs I was approached by the a lady from radiology and advise me before anything can be done I need to have a lymph node test, and have the radio active dye injected... I hadn't been told about this so was concerned, not much is said to me about all this until I get up to radiology, and they commence the testing, LUCKILY, it turned out well, but the procededure was painful and if I had been told about it first, then I would have been ready mentally for this. The test checks to see of there is Cancer in the Lymph Nodes of the breast and under arm. After the test I'm taken back to the transition room, but my bed and belongings have disappeared, and I'm left with a chair to ponder life from.

Still waiting and it's after 12.00, 4 hours can play havoc with a mind like mine, just want to get in and get it over with now, suddenly "my" bed returns with case attached, and an apology, I check my case all my meager belongings for a hospital stay are in tact, and undisturbed. I mean really who would want to take my 2 cotton granny nightie's and house coat???, silly me clings to these things as they are mine, and the only thing of me here.

13.30 I get a visit from the Anethstatist, she advises me that she will be with the Breast surgeons crew, and asks the questions that will become the norm for the next few weeks. "Are you allergic to anything?", "no, not that I know of" I state, feeling relieved that I have not been forgotten, and that something was starting to happen, she explained her side of the procedure, and promptly waltzed out, it's a good thing I had no questions, as she bustled away in her blue surgery suit.

Next thing was the Breast Surgeon and the Registrar, both wanting to look at the breasts again, so I'm still in the mind set of loosing both breasts at this time, I keep telling my self that this is a good thing, coz I can get new boobs out of this and with a bit of lick a tummy tuck at the same time. I had decided that if both were going I would have a Tram Flap done which entails, taking fleash from the abdomen, and creating my breasts, and it would all still be me, my meat from me. So that's where the tummy tuck and new boobs came from, I mean really there had to be a posative side to all this and it was my way of dealing with this scary thing. My humour has got me through other peoples concerns.

Next is the Anethstatist for the Plastics team, I'm thinking that this is getting bigget than Ben Hur, and maybe I should be charging admission, I voice this and she laughed heartily, I can tall she's a country girl and we have an informal chat, She is a woman who really connected with me, she advised that the Plastic's people will be in shortly and she would stay until they came. I think she sensed my apprehension to what was now looming.

Dr. Z and the Registrar and the surgeons 2Ic all come in together, the Registra leaves with out a word, and Dr. Z (my wonderful Plastic Surgeon and Ross 2Ic)now want to start drawing lins and dot's all over my breast's, I state that as I'm not a white board, that this is really weird, like I'm a science project, for adults. They laugh, as do I, but they are totally at ease, I'm not. Dr. Z put's a reassuring hand on my arm and say's she will look after me. My fear is showing a little and she's doing her best to allay them. They head of to the theatre. an Orderly attends my bed now, and the nurses all give me a wave and a smile.

Now how cavernous is a hospital, very I think, I got lost and I have an exceptional sense of direction, but I ended up in the right place, I was joined during this trip by the Anethstatist's, both chatting like old mate's. We get in the room and I find a cast of thousands, well maybe not thousands but at least 8 for each team, and apparently a couple of observers, see I knew I should of charged admission.

I'm laying there and every one has a task and then just stand around, almost like public servants, I have the heart monitor sticky stuff attached to back and front, while the Anethstatist's organise the canula near my wrist, another of those "you'll just feel a little sting", then as I'm listening to every one chat, they put in the knock out drops, what a ripper, I drift off into a warm envelope of black.

I remember waking a little and feeling around my chest area, apparently Dr.Z, advised "we only took one" , again I drift off with a smile.

The next thing I remember is asking for my husband and being told he's on his way, and then the next moment he was there and I was starving, and sitting up in bed, it was 18.30. The look of relief on Hubbly's face was all I needed at that moment, and a really strong cup of coffee.

After chatting for a while Hubbly went home, and Dr. Z popped into see how I was, she told me I still had my Lymph nodes, and that a saline bag was placed into the Pectral muscle, and that I would be in hospital for at least 5 days. The reason for the other breast being saved was due to the fact, that no cancer had left it's little cocoon, and all the rest of the meat below the skin was gone. "You may feel pain in the next 24hrs, but it's to be expected". I was all good now, she patted my hand and left. I felt cheated that I didn't get my tummy tuck and 2 new boob's.